About Cheap Bastard Offset Manifesto… 

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could have your house paid off in your early 50’s? Possibly even in your 40’s? What if you could retire earlier than your peers?  How about walking into a car dealership, keeping your dealings with the car people to an absolute minimum, and getting out of there about an hour later with your paid off new machine. Wouldn’t that be nice? You’ve only been doing this since shortly after your teens.

How about enjoying paying your bills? Make sure the lovely credit card people don’t charge you any fees or interest, and pay the entire credit card bill off. Laugh when you picture big credit calling you a deadbeat. F them! (this might be the first time I have dropped the f bomb, but it won’t be the last. I really get mad when I think of what the credit industry has done to good people.) Maybe even singing a little jingle while you’re lobing your dough at the vultures. (I have a doing the bills song and all my family sings along.)

Sleeping soundly every night knowing your super fund can protect you if things go awry. That would be awesome, right?……yes!!!!!   Knowing you can pass the daily stack of 20’s to your youngins’ and not fret.  You got them. 

It would be super awesome if your spouse could stay home with the kids for over a decade. Walk them to school, volunteer in the school library. You could see the milestones in-person, not on your phone. You can have this. 

How about being able to put your new, inexperienced teen drivers(s) in a car that can actually have their back if the s hits the fan. Not in Aunt Millie’s 30 year old creampuff during that mishap, but a rolling air bag filled safety machine that is new, free and clear. I know you’re still going to worry when they’re not safely in the nest, but at least they have a very good chance that their car airbags are going to deploy if they need to.  Auntie’s creampuff—not so much. 

With the title of this manifesto, you are probably thinking I save all my used paper towels, reuse my aluminum foil, and pinch every penny. You couldn’t be further from the truth. I buy extravagant items every once in a while and have a blast with the fun part of my system. 

What if you could do your absolute best keeping your worst enemy (cue the dreadful music) the PLUMBER, out of your house. “Sir your toilets are full of crap, and it’s not leaving anytime soon. It will be $20,000 to fix your sewer line.” Wait a minute, I have to work in an hour, I can take the day off and dig a hole 10 feet deep and 70 feet long, right? No can do!!!!!

Read on, because you can be ready for it when it happens, because it will happen. You can have all of this. I know a 12 year old shy boy who unknowingly laid the groundwork to make this all happen, not the joe buttcrack plumber knocking on your door, but all the rest of the scenario’s above. That 12 year old is me.

Vision, Patience, Execute